Thinking out Loud
by Cordillianne
Summary: This story starts after the Last Supper dinner and follows what happened between Emma and Dylan that evening and in the future. It all starts with a walk when they do not share all their thoughts out loud, you, the reader, are of course privy to their thought but when will they finally be able to share them with each other. Cannon until that point. Can love emerge out of horror..
1. Chapter 1

Thinking Out Loud

This begins after the family dinner at the Bates House

Chapter 1 : After Dinner Walk

As the evening grew long and transformed in the night, the lovely dinner at the Bates' house slowly ended as people slowly faded back into their own universe. First Sheriff Romaro excused himself shortly after coffee stating that the station would probably be coming apart without his presence. Using this queue and afraid to over extend what had been an evening he had so long hoped for Caleb to make a graceful exit. Once again thanking his sister for the lovely meal. Norma had behaved remarkably well considering the setting of the evening but the last remarked had made her crave some normalcy. As soon as the two men walked out she excused herself, claiming wanting to keep the food from sticking to the dishes. She looked clearly a little flustered.

Emma: Norma, would you like some help, I am sure we could get them finished in no time.

Norma: Oh darling, this is so kind of you. I am so happy you decided to join us tonight, but you already help me out. Norman, why don't you come and help your mother? Norman?

Norman: Oh Mother, I think you had enough men here tonight to help you, now you want me to help you when they are gone. Isn't this particular? May be you could ask James to come over again, he was so helpful earlier?

Norma became even more flustered and upset my Norman's comment.

Norma: Dylan, would you please make sure Emma gets home safely?

Dylan: Sure Mama.

Dylan without even realising it grabbed Emma's hand and hustled her out of the room not knowing in which state Norman and Norma's argument could turn. As they were walking out of the house they could hear Norma wondering why Norman wanted to spoil her perfect evening and then run out to the kitchen.

Emma had a worried look on her face as they stood outside on the porch. She turned to Dylan.

Emma: Do you think they will be ok, I mean what is Norman has another break? Do you think your mother will be ok?

Dylan: I am sure they will be fine; there is already no more yelling. In a normal family this might stand out but in this family, as you know, this was a normal finish dinner.

Dylan answered with a mild awkward laugh.

Dylan: I am so sorry Emma, you know this is not what I thought. I wanted to thank you and instead now you are worried this is not how I wanted the evening to go at all.

Emma: Why? No. Dylan. This was perfect. I am used to Norman behaving this way now. I have come to realise that this is how he is and will always be with him. But this evening was perfect. Bringing me here, to this family that I love so much, it had been a while since I had seen a real family dinner, wards and all. Please don't apologize.

Dylan: But I wanted you to relax and rest, not worry.

Emma: I did relax, but I don't want to rest I want to be happy and tonight made me happy.

Dylan: I really don't know what made you happy like this, are you sure this is the family you want to belong to?

Emma: You know at dinner tonight when your … well… Caleb was telling one of the stories from when he lived away and you mom was laughing.

Dylan: Yeah

Emma: Well, well I wasn't looking at them, I was looking and you and you had this smile on your face. Just for a minute there it looked like all your worries had faded away. It was just like for a second there, things were just perfect.

Dylan for a moment simply smiled looking down. This felt like earlier when they had been sitting in the living room before his father showed up. He didn't know where he should look, where to put his hands instantly noticing he had been holding Emma's hand this whole time. He quickly reacting taking his hand away and immediately realize this felt more awkward and tried to keep him cool biting his lower lip and running the hand through his hair.

Dylan: So what you are telling me Emma is that when you look at me, you see a child, I can't say I am not a little hurt, he added nervously laughing.

Emma had herself never noticed he hadn't let go. Those last few seconds holding Dylan's hand had been magical. So many feelings were rushing through her she felt like she couldn't keep up. It was like when she desperately grasped for air but instead of a sense of dread and panic, she felt joy and excitement. But what she done and gone, called him a child? How stupid could she be? Telling him she was staring at him. Of course he took his hand away. Why would she go and do something like that.

Emma: No, I mean it's not, I … I don't think you look like a child. Dylan!; Emma exclaimed, "You are making me say things I don't mean". Emma added while jokingly hitting his chest.

Dylan smiled and laughed. He managed to make her laughed. He didn't know when this had started happening but the sound of her laugh had lately been brought so much comfort to her. He knew then he had to make the run, no matter the risk, he could not lose that laugh.

Dylan: This might now have been quite what I had planned but maybe we could walk for a bit?

Emma: Well my car is parked at the hotel.

Dylan Well then, let me walk you to your car? You know the gentleman like way.

Dylan added with a laughing smile. Emma, who was now also smiling nodded approvingly as they slowly started down the step. The awkwardness of a moment had dissipated as they walked side by side, silently down the stairs. Emma tried so hard not to be caught staring after her faux pas earlier the last thing she wanted was for Dylan to think was that she was a love sick school girl who wasn't able to stop staring at him. Instead she stared at the stars. Feeling the quiet of the evening sky, feeling the warmth of the presence beside her; this in fact was a pretty perfect night.

On the other hand, Dylan could do nothing but stare and wonder. What was she thinking about looking up like that at the star? The stars, it looked like the stars were in her eyes, they looked just beautiful. Wow, when did this awkward girl start to look so mesmerizing? But why wasn't she looking at him what was she thinking so intently with this half serious face. He was so distracted he almost skipped the last step.

Emma: Dylan, are you ok?

Dylan: Haha, ya I think, I missed a step there. I got distracted.

Emma: "By what?" Emma asked laughingly.

Dylan: Oh nothing, just trying to figure out what you were thinking about?

Emma: What? I wasn't thinking about anything interesting, my thoughts are not interesting, I know this for a fact.

Dylan: Why would you ever say that?

Emma: Well sometimes I think out loud… if that makes any sense and I know well, it doesn't inspire any traction.

Dylan: What do you mean you think out loud?

Emma: "I can't tell you… it is too embarrassing." Said Emma who had just turned well realising she may have said too much.

Dylan: So you won't tell me what you were thinking about?

Emma: Nope… I would probably just rant nonsense anyways.

They were both laughing when they reached the car.

Emma: Well I should go.

Dylan: Wait Emma there is something I need to tell you. I… hum…

Emma: Dylan what is it, you look all serious.

Dylan took both of her hand in his and said: I am going to be gone. I mean I am going somewhere. I won't be gone long. I was just thinking, before I went I just needed to…

Emma: Why are you telling me that? You are not doing anything dangerous because I know you have been working so hard to try to do good and …

Dylan: No no! It is not why I am telling, it's not anything like that I don't want you to worry. Its just I could be gone for a couple days and I didn't want you to … you know… think if I wasn't around or something… I was avoiding you or something like that.

Emma: You left plenty of time before, it's fine, I am fine on my own.

Dylan; I know that. You are really incredibly strong Emma. I… I.. I don't know why, it's just this time I thought for some reason, I just didn't… you know.

Dylan looked so shaken and intend yet so vulnerable all at once. Emma simply didn't really know how to react but also didn't want to move. She notices that when they had been talking Dylan had closed the space between them. She now found herself with almost no room between her car behind her and Dylan on the other side. She could feel his warm breath cut though the evening air and caress the skin of her face. For a moment, she forgot how to breathe. No words could come out as Dylan lean forward and kissed her cheek. No air could enter her lungs.

"I will be back real soon" said Dylan as he turned around and walked back to the house not even daring to turn around for fear Emma would notice the nervousness in his eyes. He realized it was not the gun run which caused him to be afraid, it was the idea he would never see her again if things went wrong. Not only that but if he didn't succeed, it was her life that might be next. He swallowed with pain the ball in his throat as he walked back to the house.

Emma with her mouth still closed was still pined to the driver's door of her orange vehicle. "Breath, you have to breath" she told herself finally letting go the painful but warm hair she had been holding in. Embarrassed at not knowing how long she had just been standing there and in which state she might be in the rushed in her car and took off wide eyed and with a brilliant smile that she thought nothing could erase.


	2. Chapter 2

Thinking Out Loud

Chapter 2 : Run

The sun rises on the west coast slowly lifting the heavy fog the night before had left behind. There was a crisp chill in the air when Emma opened her eyes this morning. She stood very very still in her bed waiting to see if faded ways of sunshine would pierce her drapery. Once that happened, she could allow herself to believe she wasn't dead. No, Emma didn't think about death as much as some would imagine one with her condition did, but this morning it seemed like the most rational explanation. She had died. Dylan had not kissed her. Not really, she was dead, or perhaps a dream, yes a dream was sincerely less morbid. Perhaps then, if she stayed perfectly still none of this would catch up to her and she could stay there, then the bubble wouldn't burst and she could keep the hope alive that last night Dylan nervously close the spaced between them and rested his soft lips upon her cheek. As the small and weak rays slowly made themselves shown she just moved her hand to her cheek and laugh.

Emma got up with a big smile on her face and made herself breakfast as her father dropped by.

"Well Sweetheart, did your time with this extraordinary person go well yesterday" said Emma's dad with a teasing look in his eyes which reflected the mischievous ways he had when she was younger, when her father didn't look so worried all the time.

Emma: Dad, it was just a family dinner at the Bates, nothing fancy.

Emma's Dad: If you say so my dear but you been over there plenty of times before and you never came back smiling like that before. But don't think your sparkling smile will make me forget you stayed up last night and I want you to come home early tonight and rest up little one.

Emma: Well that shouldn't be a problem you see Dy… I mean, no one is really around so it shouldn't be a problem to come home after work.

Emma Dad: Well either way, you know I am just looking out for you. I don't want to lose that smile, said Emma Dad with a sad look on his face. "Beside, then I would have no one to cook me breakfast."

Emma: Dad!

Emma's Dad: What? You have a gift for toast I could just never possess.

Emma kissed her father's cheek and headed out to her car posing a moment as she put her hand on the car handle imagining, once again, the events of the previous night.

On the other side of town another hand was on a car handle. Dylan's hand was on the side of his truck.

Dylan: Caleb, you don't have to do this. You didn't want to do this and once we leave we won't have time to turn back so if you are not in you need to tell me now it's too important for us to screw this up.

Caleb: I feel responsible; if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have known about this run. I still don't think this is the way to help Emma but when I realised last night that there was nothing I could do to stop you from going, I realize all I could do was keep you safe.

Dylan: Alright well then we have to go.

They both got into the big white van and strapped themselves in and took off. They had been in the car for a little while when Dylan turned to his father and asked.

Dylan: Caleb, you were so intent the other day to not let me go, you just looked like you wouldn't change your mind. Why did you change your mind? Why did you say you had no way to change my mind I mean? Dylan awkwardly bumbled.

Caleb: I know, I just found out about you I mean, I never spent much time with you or nothing but I just can't let anything happen to you. I feel sorry for everything you had to go through growing up and I just couldn't imagine seeing anything happen to you, I care about you.

Dylan: I … I kinda figured that out but then what changed your mind.

Caleb: You even have to ask, Caleb answered with the same awkward smile Dylan gets. "I mean, at dinner".

Dylan: At dinner what?

Caleb: Your mom was going on for the fifth or sixth time about how important it is to be with the people that you love. And I wasn't looking at her, I was looking at you.

Dylan: Seriously, I mean did I have something stuck in my teeth last night?

Caleb laughingly answered: No. Of course not but you weren't looking at your mother either.

Dylan: What?

Caleb: You were staring at her. I mean don't worry she didn't notice, she was looking at Norma but not you. Your mother went on and on about being with the people you love and the importance of family and you had the biggest smile on your face just looking at her. Then Norma went on about how we are always ok as long as we have the people that we love with us. I was looking at you, and you were looking at her and then I saw a sadness going over your face. I realised that you were worried that you wouldn't be able to, able to hold on and that nothing was going to keep you away.

Dylan: I mean, I don't really think, I mean we are friends and you know she mean a lot to Norma… and… I mean, I think we should all help when we can…

Caleb: Sure, you keep telling yourself that.

Dylan: You know, well I am glad… you know hum… I mean… that you came by.

Caleb: It will be a piece of cake. Get in, get the guns, drop off the gun, get new lungs happily ever after.

Dylan: I hope you are right but I don't think anyone in this family is meant for a happily ever after.

Caleb: Dylan, I ran once. I ran away from my family, ran away from my problems, ran away from everything. I think sometimes I never stopped running from everything. I don't want that for you Dylan. You are a good kid and you deserve better. You deserve someone good. I think if someone can, you know, turn this family around may be it's you. May be if you have the right people around you, you can do what we never did, me and you mama, stop running you know. We never had a chance, the both of us I mean, we never had good people and I don't know how but you turn out good, and you deserve good.

Dylan: Not like her, not like her good.

Caleb: Ya Dylan, like "her" good. You don't be like me, don't run away from good things. Besides, I don't think that would matter much anyways.

Dylan: Why do you say that?

Caleb Well because when you weren't starring at her, she was staring at you.

Dylan smiled turning the slightest shade of pink staring at the road, trying not to smile any more than he has.


	3. Chapter 3

Thinking Out Loud

Chapter 3 : Blinking Light

It had been a quiet day at the motel. The evening grew near and today had been as uneventful as ever. Considering that eventful days at the Bates motel had included dead people, one could never quite complain about a quiet day but today was more than quiet it had been a little disappointing. When for the last time someone came in, Emma pressed her pretty skirt and smiled, hoping this time it might be him. But once again it was just Norma, this time looking significantly more agitated than she had previously. All day Emma had hoped that may be he would be walking in the door. May be he hadn't left yet and would come say goodbye. May be he was back already and just came to ask about the hotel, or whatever. Every time it was Nora. She knew very well he had left and she shouldn't think much of it but every time her cell phone made a sound, she jumped hoping to see his number pop up. But it was always just a news update or some junk mail. This was ridiculous. She remembered that not that long ago it was Norman she hoped was on the other line. How silly was that? She knew now, after seeing everything she saw that Norman would never be the one for her. She wouldn't run out from him. He was sick. She was sick and he hadn't run. She wouldn't run but it wasn't the same as it was with Dylan. It couldn't be. And now, like a little school girl, she was hoping, his brother, or all people would give her a call. She spent some much time starring at her screen today she had to plus her phone back in the back so the battery didn't die before the end of her shift.

Multiple times today Norma had dropped by. Early this morning to make sure everything was set up properly she looked so happy. She told Emma how the evening before was so perfect and how nothing could ruin her enthusiasm. Emma was so glad for Norma. She knew from Dylan and Norman that Norma had such a difficult life and to see her so happy brought an even bigger smile to Emma's face.

Earlier today

Norma: Well you looked especially cheerful this morning.

Emma: I could say the same about you.

Norma: It was last night wasn't it?

Had she seen them, Emma thought. Did Norma see Dylan kissing Emma? Was that why she was there?

"What do you mean?" asked Emma with an inquisitive look.

Norma: The dinner party silly. It was so nice. I saw you had fun and I was so glad. I knew inviting you was the perfect idea. It just made the evening complete. I don't know that I will ever, you know have a perfect relationship with my brother. I don't know, I assumed Norman may have told you, I don't have the best relationship with my brother.

Emma: He may have, in passing, but I mean it's normal for relatives to not always get along, look at my mom.

Norma: Well yes, well it's ok now because it may not be perfect but we are a family but tonight was so lovely.

Norma got around the counter and hugged Emma very tight and kissed her on the cheek which surprised Emma. A mix of joy at being included in the family she held so dear and at Norma's gesture made her giggle nervously which only overjoyed Norma even more as she went on with the morning tasks of the hotel.

However, after this encounter Emma kept thinking. What is this is why Dylan kissed me on the cheek? What if it was a … nice to have you around little sis, kinda kiss. I mean, it's not like he had taken her in her arms and passionately embarrassed her or even kissed her on the lips. It was a peck on the cheeks. She had been nervous last night, what if she had misinterpreted the whole event. In her head this was the start of an epic romance novel, but what if in Dylan's mind this was just a see ya later don't miss me when I am gone kiss? Was that even a kinda kiss? I mean it's not like she was an expert on types of kissed on anything. Last night and this morning, she was so sure this was a lovely kiss at the end of a perfect evening. She thought this was Dylan making a tender promise of things to come. It was a moment. No it was THEIR moment. But now, she wasn't too sure. So she convinced herself that talking or seeing Dylan would really help her out. So every time Norma dropped by or her father rang her to make sure she wasn't getting too tired she heart skip a beat; her stomach turned a full 360, and then she would be disappointed. Today Emma really wanted to have a mother, or even a girlfriend. She realised apart from Dylan and Norman she didn't have too many friends. Neither of them were really an option at the moment. Norma had mention something about Norman being in the basement again, but even if it wasn't it's not like she was going to go down there and ask him what he thought. I mean she didn't really feel guilty about doing this to Norman, after the cabin nothing happened again, he didn't show the slightest interest in her. However, she wouldn't ask him about kissing another man, least of all his brother. So while Norma went along her merry day Emma spent her day trying to analyse and reanalysed every moment of the evening. Why had he held her hand so long if he didn't like it? Why would be take it away so fast? Why did he tell her he was leaving? May be that was just in case something happened with Norman, he wanted her to know she was in charge, and he wouldn't be there to help if Norma ran out again.

She spent her day dreaming was once again interrupted by a strange noise coming from the parking, probably a wild animal. It wasn't a minute later when she heard Norma screaming that she realised something was wrong. She headed towards the door of what was now a dark front yard when Norma stormed in.

Norma: Do you know where Norman went? Did you see which direction?

Emma: I didn't even see him I was inside, what is going on.

Norma: Emma, how did you not see him I don't understand! He must have come right by, were you not paying attention.

Emma: I am so sorry I heard a noise but I didn't think

Norma Exactly you didn't think! You didn't think…

Norma paused to take a breath as Emma's face swelled up in tears.

Norma: I am so sorry Emma. I didn't, I mean I shouldn't, it's just me and Norman had such a huge blow. I lost my temper with him. I have never seen him like this and I told him, I told him things I shouldn't have and he looked like he was so angry and then total calm and he ran out of the house. He didn't take my car so he can't be far but I have to go look for him. Emma, I know you have the evening off but we have to go find him. I could take my car. I should go now and you look around on foot. I don't know where he could be. Emma I don't know what he is going to do.

Emma could see Norma was genuinely concerned, but more than concerned she looked scared. No, something was different. In the past, Norma had always been concerned over something that might happen to Norman, this time it looked like if she was worried of what Norman could do.

Emma: Of course, I will just call my dad, tell him I will be a little late and I will be right behind you. If Norman took off on foot we should be able to find him no problem.

Norma: Thank you Emma, I hope you are right.

Norma took off like a flash into her car, her wheels were spinning before Emma could even gather her bearing and realize her phone was still in the back room charging. She approached it while realizing there was a red blinking light. This was a message, it must have gone on vibrate when she plugged her phone in, her older model had a tendency to do that without her consent. May be Norman had called her and his running away was simply a misunderstanding. The caller ID indicated however it was Dylan who left her a message. Without even pausing to realize the irony that she had waited all day for a call from one brother and the second she wished it was the other one who called is when the latter who finally did, she took the message. Perhaps Dylan had gotten a call from Norman, they had been getting better along lately.

She listened to the message three times before she could make out what Dylan had said. The reception was atrocious and Dylan seemed to be whispering.. The message went like this.

Dylan: (fuzzy reception noises) Ma… I wanted to let you know (fuzzy reception) alone for dinner (fuzzy reception) you need to know (fuzzy noises) and in case (his voices lowered even more and the reception got even worst) this isn't it ok (breaking up noises) yourself (breakup noise) again no …(fuzziness)

Caleb: Dylan look out! Shouted Caleb

BEEP

And the line went dead.

She had forgotten for a few precious second all about Norma, all about Norman… where was Dylan? Why was Caleb with him? Why was he whispering and why did she have an awful feeling about all of this?

**Next Chapter will be Dylan's perspective and reviews and comments are more than welcome.**


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